The central paradox of self-compassion is that we give ourselves kindness not to feel better, but because we feel bad. We often think of self-compassion as a way to feel better—but that’s where the paradox lies. Self-compassion isn’t about resisting our pain or pretending it’s not there. It’s about being present with our suffering and offering kindness to ourselves because we hurt, not to make the pain disappear. For example, if you struggle with insomnia, resisting it only creates more stress.
1:30
The central paradox of self-compassion is that we give ourselves kindness not to feel better, but because we feel bad. We often think of self-compassion as a way to feel better—but that’s where the paradox lies. Self-compassion isn’t about resisting our pain or pretending it’s not there. It’s about being present with our suffering and offering kindness to ourselves because we hurt, not to make the pain disappear. For example, if you struggle with insomnia, resisting it only creates more stress.
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